Encouraged (and a little discouraged)

We met with our adoption agency yesterday.  I left the meeting feeling mostly encouraged and excited.

Encouraged because our contact person there is wonderful and easy to talk to.  She is experienced, informative, open and honest.  We felt welcomed and comfortable immediately.  She gave us helpful feedback on our profile and is excited that we are now on the ACTIVE WAITING LIST!!  Yup, so as soon as I get our profile to her, she can show us to prospective birth parents.  Great news! 

She told us we were a great adoptive family -- most of the families on the waiting list are between 35-45 years old, so we are just spring chickens :)  And because we are a multiracial family. it opens doors for us.  This is neat because our pediatrician and social worker for Kailyn told us that it was highly unusual for a black woman to choose a white family to raise her child.  We feel so honoured that Kailyn's birthmom looked at who we are and what we value as a couple rather than just at the colour of our skin.  Wow.  

I feel just a little discouraged because the active waiting list is long and there are not many adoptions happening in Ontario in general.  Adoption is simply not looked upon as an option in many situations.  This is an interesting trend to reflect on ... why aren't men and women who don't feel ready or capable to parent a child choosing to parent or abort their child rather than thinking about adoption?  This issue is complicated and I won't claim to understand it.  It baffles me and makes my heart sad.  

Anyways ... the waiting part of this journey is just around the corner.  As many of you know, I am terrible at waiting.  As I prepare to wait, I thank God for all his gifts to me.  All the things that will make the waiting easier -- a husband who loves me and supports and encourages me to develop my gifts, two little ones who make me laugh everyday and whose favourite word must be "mommy" to which I must respond with, "yes?" or "what?" and a variety of activities that fill my schedule each week. 

But, in the quiet of the end of the day, my heart and arms ache for my child.  Where is he/she?  When will he/she come home to me? to us?  Is he/she safe?  Is his or her birth mom safe?  All questions I do my best to lay at the feet of my heavenly Father.  He knows the answers.

Blessings, 

April