Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Praying Like Crazy

I started a prayer journal.  So often people ask for prayer and I quickly say that of course I will pray for them ... but then, do I?  Getting the idea from a friend (who said I was the first entry in her new prayer journal!!) I decided that this new year was a good time to start writing down the names of people who ask me to pray for them as well as needs that I see in my family and community.  In just the act of writing down their names they get at least one prayer uttered from my heart.  And then as time goes on, I hope that I will be able to go back over the list and jot down notes as to how those prayers were answered or if they remain on my list.  

Interestingly, as we continue to wait for a child, at least five other families have asked me to pray for their process of adoption as well.  Some are joyfully welcoming new children into their families as I write ... others are feeling the burden and opposition of waiting and still others are anxiously awaiting approval of documents and test results.   

On the other hand, many friends have told me that they are, and I quote, "praying like crazy" for us as we wait with hopeful hearts.  I am blown away.  I need prayer.  Everyday.  Or the feeling of sinking slowly but surely takes over.  Isn't it amazing how we can gather around each other and support and encourage each other so simply?  It is because of these crazy prayers that I feel like I can continue to wait well. 

What does it mean to wait well?  I am not sure.  

Does it mean being so busy there is no time to think of what you don't have?  
Does it mean to surround yourself with people and get lost in their lives?
Does it mean to ignore the feelings of your heart and the thoughts of your mind when
     really all you want to do is obsess and rationalize the wait?

Does it mean that you talk yourself out of the importance of what you wait for? 
Does it mean to submit to the burden of waiting and wallow in it? 


I am not sure.  For me, I don't want to miss life while I wait.  I want to enjoy the things God has given me today.  First and foremost I want to enjoy the children God has given me.  To be honest, after our infertility diagnosis, I didn't think I'd ever be the mama of a newborn but God has given me not one, but two children --- given to me at their births.  Amazing -- for that reason alone I can wait well.  Second, there are so many people who need me and who need my prayers, my company, my gifts ... there is much work for me to do.  Not necessarily to distract me from my waiting but to fill my life with good things, with good relationships, and with hobbies and activities that I enjoy.  

Anxiety, worry, nervousness, guilt ... these are not things that I enjoy experiencing and so I pray myself out of them.  And if I can't pray for a release from these feelings myself I've got numerous people, "praying like crazy" to help me out. 

Please ... pray like crazy for someone today.  You have no idea how far the ripples of that prayer will go!  

In prayer, 
April