Homestudy Reflections

Published today, written on Sunday, April 28 (it needed a few days breathing space!)

Today was a busy day ... Sundays usually are busy with a pastor husband but generally are interspersed with moments of rest; but not today.  Josh and I headed to our adoption practitioners office this afternoon for individual interviews.  Yes, you read correctly -- Josh and I had to be interviewed individually.  This is protocol, mandated by the Ministry of Children and Youth Services.  It was a little nerve wracking going into the interview but our practitioner is warm, honest and professional.  She tactfully and easily kept the conversation going while exploring and jotting notes while we each spoke honestly on our views and styles of discipline, the privacy rules in our home, sleeping arrangements and family background.  It is interesting to have to reflect and answer these kinds of inquiries. Talking about the questions later on in the car, I am reassured by listening to Josh's reflections, we are most definitely on the same page in our parenting and everyday life.

Second, all these questions about our motivation to adopt, our upbringing, our household rules and routines really makes us think about really why we want to adopt a child and what we are willing to already sacrifice for the sake of this child who is yet unknown to us.  We feel strongly that God has given us the gift of adoption.  He has placed this specific desire in our hearts and we feel our family is ready to move in that direction but there are so many intimate questions our practitioner has to ask.   She acknowledged this process for me by saying if we were to have a biological baby tomorrow, no one would think twice about us taking him/her home from the hospital.  No questions but rather, "congrats and good luck!"  But because we are adopting, we need to be thoroughly checked and rechecked.  It makes my heart (and my head and my bank account!!) hurt.

BUT

Is it worth it?  Absolutely.  I am already in love with my third child and he/she might not even be conceived yet!  Isn't God good?

I know that our road to adopting our child will not be a walk in the park.  I also know there are a host of challenges awaiting me when this child arrives in my arms but I am totally in.  All the way.  100%.

Then my heart and my mind asks when?  When will this be a memory, a process that we can look back on and say, yes, there were hoops, a lot of hoops, but it is ok?  I say that now about Kailyn's adoption.  Easy.  She was a million times over again worth it.  I would jump through all those hoops in a heartbeat for her.  And the best part is is that we jumped through them not even knowing who and where she was.  And so it will be for this child.

Mandates, protocols, processes are in place for a reason and I am thankful we live in a country that desires that the adoption process is thorough but I hope they hurry.  I am almost ready!!

April